roN Funny Status Messages

   You remind me of my Chinese friend, Ug Lee.

   If you're one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you.

   I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.

   If you dont like me remember its mind over matter, I dont mind and you dont matter!

   I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

   When a woman marries again, it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs.

   I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they do today.

   Here's what I've learned about dogs: They're a lot like pretty girls. Having one or two around makes everything more fun, but when you get a whole bunch together, it turns into one big power struggle.

   To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

   Religions change; beer and wine remain.

   Ah yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

   Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.

   There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.

   A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?" Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"

   May the itch of a thousand crabs affect the one who ruins your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.

   Sooooo this midget walks into a bar....well a bicycle rack....

   Ladies.. Let no past relationship ruin your love life. Remember: "Love will only fail when you fail to love!" Keep moving!

   Dear Ex, please get out of my head and heart. Sincerely, someone who`s trying to move on.

   Ever look at your ex while thinking "was I drunk for our whole relationship?

   ♥ LOVE always has it`s ``ERRORS`` sometimes we try 2 ``REFRESH`` then realyize it`s best 2 b ``SHUTDOWN`` but the hardest part is 2 ``RESTART`` your life and ``REFORMAT`` your HEART ♥