luka Funny Status Messages

   Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

   Sure Rome wasn't built in a day but it burnt in a day didn't it?

   Some TV commercials tell us to not try it at home. Where are we suppose to try it? At school?

   What would happen if you hired two private investigators to follow each other?

   Who actually clicks on the "No I am not over 18" links on "adult" pages?

   i tried to catch some Fog but I Mist

   If I don't clean my house soon, someone is going to bring in blindfolded ppl for a Frebreeze commercial.

   Trapped in an elevator with a dead body again. Well not exactly dead yet but he's making noises with his gum

   The police are taking me downtown for an interview and I didn't even apply for the job.

   Alcohol: Because no great story ever started with someone eating salad.

   Ringing in the “New Year” apparently is not a valid excuse for showing up to work 3 hours late… in October.

   It’s scary to be a woman on a blind date. For all she knows the man she is meeting up with could be a rapist, a murderer, or, God forbid, a politician

   Flash mobs are so not what I thought. Now I've gotta go find my clothes.

   How come we pay guys millions a year to toss a ball around, then when our teachers ask for a raise, we say they already make enough

   Why does McDonalds call it a drive thru when you have to drive AROUND the building?

   What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

   Friends are a lot like trees they fall down when hit multiple times with an axe

   no one could ever hate me half as much as I dont care

   my girlfriend thinks I am afraid of commitment my wife on the other hand...

   my girlfriend thinks I am in capable of being faithful my wife on the other hand.