gay jeffery Funny Status Messages

   surprisingly Going on a killing spree has a minimal impact on your credit score.

   ive started drinking raw milk. no homo

   It's complicated" is just code for, "I'm willing to cheat."

   i got stoned yesterday, tough crowds in Iran

   I love taking the grocery store up on their offer to carry my groceries out to my car for me

   If we're gonna take this relationship to the next level, at some point you'll have to loosen my straps

   i do believe my fake laugh is ready to go pro.

   I find the butchest way to eat a banana is to take my dress off.

   If I can see you, you're invading my personal space.

   I calculate how many girls ive been with the same way you convert °C to °F. Take the real figure, double it & add 30.

   Nothing like waking up to drunk texts from the guy you like blurting out his feelings for you and now it's your turn to play it cool.

   facebook needs a "settle down" button you tap on a friend's profile, that locks them out for a day so they can work through stuff privately.

   Dugout: where baseball players relax between innings Doug-out: where Doug feels comfortable telling others about his sexuality

   At this point, group photos of Aerosmith are indistinguishable from publicity stills for a roadshow of "Cats"

   okay so I'm confused..whats came out today? justin beiber or his alblum?

   so So, my script is about a lactose-intolerant psychic lesbian spy with a penchant for cheese fries & loose women. -Awful movie pitches

   Text me like its being read back to you by Chris Hansen.

   Axe is the auto-tune for body odor.

   Getting really into filling life's emptiness with carbs.

   Def Need a " facebook filter" to prevent all the weddings and babies from showing up on my feed.