ff1241 Funny Status Messages

   very surprised at the number of my family members actually willing to admit they are related to me.

   We fought wars so we wouldn't care about royal weddings.

   I can't believe I'm eagerly waiting to hear Obama speak and tell me something other than his resignation.

   and took him out. This is NOT an Obama victory, but an AMERICAN victory!!

   I would really hate to be a politician...mostly because I couldn't say "fock you, a55hole" any time that I felt like it. :)

   This whole being a responsible adult thing sucks.

   not sure why any man would be in a polygamist relationship just increases the odds of having a psycho ex wife.

   it safe for white folks to say the n word while doing karaoke ?

   Zombie squirrels will feast on your nuts.

   Why do I knowingly pick the bad choices in life. I know I'm going to pay for it in the end but it sure looks like its going to be fun in the mean time

   The term weekend could have a whole new meaning tomorrow.

   having a staring contest with a bottle of Jack.

   The problems with heroes is that most of them are buried too soon befor they have a chance to become old men.

   Sometimes I need to recheck my facebook account to remember what I did this past weekend. 

   The problem is I have just enough money to get into trouble but not enough to make bail.

   NOTE: The term "Proper Sense" has now replaced the term "Common Sense" because Common Sense is NOT so common anymore!

   I just wanna be friends to but with just your va jj.

   Found out yesterday that apparently saying I have dyslexia is not a good excuse for driving 51 in a 15 mph school zone.

   Have you ever done something so stupid that you blamed it on being drunk when you were totally sober just so you looked like less of a dumb ass.

   If you turn down the car radio, hang up the cell phone and remove you head from your ass you might just notice the emergence vehicle with it's emergency lights flashing and siren blaring trying to get a destination that's more important than yours.