ef Funny Status Messages

   Have you noticed that it's only the married squirrels that hurl themselves in front of your car......

   When is Dennis Rodman going to realize that he will be executed as soon as the North Korean basketball team he is training loses their first game???

   I prefer to use the bathroom naked w/ the door wide open. Sorry if this interferes with your idea of a "safe & fun work environment" Kathy.

   Dear Santa....I've been good for the last hour

   All I want for Christmas is NO MORE GAME REQUESTS!!! Thank you!!

   I don't know about you but I'm that guy who will strike up a conversation with you while waiting in a long line.Tell a joke to all the people standing there to change their day and mine also. I enjoy people..... and life is too short!

   I'm working on my 2014 New Year's Resolutions List 1. On January 1st, "Express order" workout equipment. 2. January 2nd workout with new equipment 3. January 3rd "Place Ad to sell workout equipment at 1/2 price"

   Breaking News!!! It is okay to "NOT" get in a debate on a Facebook status if you really have no idea what you are talking about. You can just move on to a cat picture or something you understand and comment on that..

   I still haven't been able to deal with the fact that Jessica Simpson has had two children and didn't name either one "Homer"

   I went out to a "Soul Food" restaurant for dinner last night. My waiter was African-American and put my food down in front of another white guy who looked nothing like me. I get it now..........Wait, oh sorry, that's not my waiter

   There is a special place in Hell for people that pass memes off as their own

   Look on the bright side Redskin fans...Anything is possible and maybe the Rams will trade three 1st round picks back for RGIII. ;)