bryan j brown Funny Status Messages

   Life really is all down-hill once you get to big too ride in the shopping cart anymore isnt it??

   Look just cuz I wont go by you tampons doesn't mean I don't love you...Hell didn't I buy you like 3 rolls of Bounty...That's called a Compromise...

   Man Law #236: Unless you last name is "Van Damme" grown a$$ men don't do the splits...

   it crazy that when I go to stores and have to sign my name for stuff I sign "Daffy Duck"...I mean I guess its not a problem unless Daffy Duck steals my identity right??

   Men lie about how many women they have been with because they CAN'T remember the exact number...Women lie about how many men they have been with because they CAN remember the exact number....

   Sex isn't everything...Unless your not having any...

   Well maybe if you didn't have dem ( . )( . ) poppin out your turtleneck we wouldn't have this Eye-Contact problem....

   Women need that perfect combination of "Yes Dear" and "Hush Yo Mouth Woman"..

   Dating Rule #7: When on a first date a gentleman always lets his lady have the Burger King crown...Cuz it will make her feel special....

   How can Wal-mart have a bazillion carts and everyone with at least one wobbly wheel??

   Just found a $5 bill in some old pants from middle school...Do you know how many rectangle pizzas with the cube pepperoni I could have bought with that?? Or better yet some mutha-f^ckin Chicken Rings...

   If you gotta ask her "Does this feel good??" you aint doin it right....

   You can learn a lot about a woman from the top dresser drawer beside her bed....

   Does anybody know if their is a place hiring someone too stand there and look pretty cuz I have a PhD in that sh*t...

   Just remember nobody's perfect...Cuz i'm sure even Mother Teresa blamed her fart on a kid or two...

   Back in my day Werewolves didn't fall in love with babies...THEY ATE THEM!!

   Oh snap if gas gets below $3 a gallon looks like I can start dating girls out side my city limits....Whoop Whoop

   Now I dont wanna have to tell you how to do your job as a woman...But as a man that's my job...

   Did you know that 85% of Facebook relationships end in "F*ck that B*tch"..

   Part of me says "I can wear my sunglasses at night"...But the other part says "Fool you know you clumsy enough in the daytime"...