StonerDudee Funny Status Messages

   Don't grow up. It's a trap!

   The best part about this status update is that by the time you've finished reading it you realize that there is absolutely no point to it

   As I caress your firm roundness with my hands and press my face into your pink flesh your sweet juices run down my face. I love watermelon!!

   Texting 101: (Oh) = stop talking to me. (K) = I'm done talking. (Whatever) = f**k you. (Fine) = f**k it. (I guess) = I don't give AF.

   I hate when people write thing like "b4" instead of "before." It's English, not Bingo.

   Cell phone, I dont know why you keep capitalizing VODKA, But I like the way you party....

   Stop reading this and go have some sex

   More people would drink responsibly if there was a brand of vodka named Responsibly.

   When you're a kid, you hate those moments when there is absolutely nothing to do. As an adult, you live for them.

   Watching Man vs Food. I think I've finally found someone who's had more meat in them than Kim Kardashian.

   Let me eat your face off.....said no pot head ever!

   My cat just graduated from the University of Phoenix.

   I'm still kind of pissed they never told us how to get to Sesame Street.

   She said she wanted to get a facial, but then she got mad when I came on her face!

   I'm probably not the first person to notice, but the plots of "Finding Nemo" and "Taken" are virtually identical.

   Sometimes I want to comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don't wanna have to explain why I'm in your 'Random Party Pics' album at 4am.

   Police Officer: "How high are you?" Stoner: "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?"

   “Don't drink and drive, When you can Smoke and fly! “

   Your kid is running around the store screaming at the top of his lungs annoying everyone and I'm the a$$hole for tripping him??

   Dogs are tough. I've been interrogating this one for hours and he still won't tell me who is a good boy.