Prince Shawn Funny Status Messages

   goes to strip clubs for the wings, used to read playboy for the articles and checks out your pictures because you have great taste in clothes.

   fights so dirty, he has never had makeup sex. It usually violates the restraining order.

   it is so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite.

   Want to make a good first impression on a guy? Ask questions about him, seem interested, listen, giggle and swallow.

   I love make up sex. Especially with Katy Perry. I make up sex with her all the time.

   never sleeps next to anything that he wouldn't want to wake up next to.

   so broke right now, he has been using used tissues as toilet paper...and sometimes vice versa.

   being lazier right now than the guy who designed the Japanese flag.

   you know a woman really loves you when she vandalizes your car after an argument.

   has discovered that telling a girl you don't have any sores isn't the best way to get her to kiss you.

   gave up trying to understand women years ago. Women understand women and they hate each other.

   hates when the microwave decides to heat his plate, but not his food.

   if you go through life with your head in the sand all people will see is an ass!

   knows a relationship is going well when she feels comfortable taking a crap at his place.

   If you don't have anything nice to say, feel free to come sit with me and we can make fun of people together.

   The problem with love is that though we get to chose who we love, we don't get to chose who loves us back.

   believes hunting is totally wrong unless you are hunting cougars.

   If it tastes funny, don't eat it. If it looks funny, call a doctor. If it is funny, it must have been something I said.

   Cheating is always worse when a woman does it because she has experience turning down sex. When she cheats, it is premeditated cheating; when a guy cheats, it is just cheating.

   came down with an incredibly bad case of Leprechaunorrhea last year so he is going to behave himself today!!!