Flinnie Funny Status Messages

   When you bring the Taco Bell 12 pack of tacos to the party. You won't be finding yourself invited to a lot of parties.

   Sales of Lady Gaga's newest CD have dropped 85% in the second week. As people have started actually listening to it.

   Leonard B. Stern inventor of Mad Libs died yesterday of EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA. He is survived by his lovely PLATYPUS, CLARABELLE and his 99 LAWN DARTS. He will truly be A DINOSAUR

   i'm going to take a pic of my son and use age progression to see what he looks like at 16. I'll keep it in his room, and when he finally figures out its him, I'm gonna try and convince him he's a time traveler

   I keep all the extra buttons that come with clothes just in case I ever need an extra 973 buttons

   its come to my attention its been sometime since many of you have brought the noise/and or funk

   Why is it so hard to find a soothsayer in this day and age?!

   Wave your hands in the air, if a bee is right there.

   When at a meeting when the boss says "anyone have any suggestions?" Don't say "inappropriate touch Tuesday"...trust me

   Good lord I'd hate to see what Canadians do if they lose in curling!

   Not sure what's harder to believe the Canucks losing a game they invented, or that Honda thinks Zombies will help sell cars

   I wish I was as dedicated to anything as much as I am to using movie lines in everyday conversation

   the Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat"

   After years of frowning at us and shaking their heads disapprovingly,we find out that the sanctimonious "goody two shoes" Canadians are bad losers. I feel better about myself.

   Today the glass is half full but I don't trust the water is filtered, the glass looks dirty & the person that served me has an open wound on their serving hand

   The only rule when a Genie grants you a wish is that you cannot wish for more wishes. Think outside the Box and wish for more Genies. The moral is that, every situation has a loop hole

   My father taught me a lot of things, however, the most important thing he taught me was how to be a great dad. A close second is how to have a conversation with someone for a half an hour even though you can't remember their name or anything else

   Rihanna sings about how chains and whips excite her. I wonder if her ancestors felt the same way!

   I question the marketing department at car dealerships. Does anyone drive by and say "Look balloons! I gotta buy a car!"

   If you can listen to Phil Collins "In the air tonight" and not play the air drums, then you my friend have no soul!