FADOLO Funny Status Messages

   White Parent: “you embarrassed your family for fighting at school!” Black Parent “Who won?”

   How are we suppose to have flying cars if we can't even get AM radio without static?

   What happens when you pepper spray a German? He can Nazi.

   Ladies, you're running out of time to hump your way to some excellent Christmas presents from that guy you're sort of seeing right now.

   Finished Christmas shopping and gift wrapping over four months ago. The puppy doesn't make as much noise as it used to.

   "1..2..3.. SMILE!"...... "Did you take it yet?" "Damn, it's on video!"

   You can tell whether or not your relationship is going to last by simply watching her eat a Popsicle.

   If judging others is a sin, Santa must be going to hell.

   You say toilet, I say Christmas beer vomit receptacle.

   If her p*ssy tastes like vinegar, she wasn't expecting you to get this far.”

   C)-hrist gave H)-imself as a R)-eward so that I)-ndividuals know the S)-acrifices T)-hat he made for M)-ankind to A)-chieve the gift of S)-alvation.”

   Sometimes when I wanna be really romantic........ I light a candle when I masturbate

   Every trip to Wal-Mart results in me seeing an equal number of people I THOUGHT were dead and I WISH were dead.

   I hate it when I buy a hamster at the pet store, and it grows huge, becomes a rapper and steals my KIA...

   Just got "I <3 U" texted to me. Of course I also think one is less than three. Idiot.

   Waking up for work :(-_-) .. Waking up on a saturday: \( 'O' )/

   When you're sober you think twice before you speak but when you're drunk you speak twice before you think.

   I wonder if "Sober Me" knows that "Drunk Me" can moonwalk?

   I Can Only Play The Hand [♠][♥][♦][♣] That GOD Has Delt Me -

   The decoys on 'To Catch A Predator' must have a hard time getting dates.