@OMFG_Rel8able Funny Status Messages

   thinking of stalking my stalker just to shake things up a bit

   I say tomato, you say tomato. hahahahaha I know your laughing right now cuz you totally just read this with two pronunciations... lol

   Once you hate someone, everything they do is offensive. "Look at this bi*ch, eating those f*cking crackers like she owns the place!”

   ❒ Single ❒ Taken ✔ I'm still awesome either way. So who cares?

   *finds out crush isn't at school today* "Damn, I wasted an outfit."

   If sex between 3 people is called 3some, between two people is called twosome. why is Handsome still a compliment?

   My manners disappear the more I have to repeat something. "Can you pass me the pen? The pen, can you pass it? Hello? GIVE ME THE F**KING PEN!!!"

   Nothing says "I'm a fat b@stard" like wearing a T-shirt in a swimming pool.....

   There's a serial killer in the house! NORMAL PEOPLE: "Call the police, let's get out of here!" IN MOVIES: "Let's go find him!"

   ❒ Taken ❒ Single ✔ I'm in love with my computer. It's getting pretty serious

   WHERE YOUR PEN GOES WHEN YOU DROP IT 3% right where you dropped it 5% 10 feet away from you 92% into another dimension never to be seen again.

   I wish exams came with a "50/50" and a "phone a friend" option.

   TICKLING; Is like being raped but you're forced to laugh... And I totally hate it - _ -

   It's so cold out that I saw two gangsters with their pants UP

   Admit it, Once in your life, you've tried to guess someone's password but failed

   That Moment of Fame when your name is in a math problem.

   ''You ask!'' ''No, you ask!'' ''Pls just ask?'' ''why cant you do it?'' ''Fine.. excuse me, can we have some ketchup?''

   Girl: Hey what's up? Boy: if I tell you would you sit on it?

   "False information" spelled backwards is "False information"

   "Aaaaaachhooo!" "Bless you.." "Aaacchhoooooo!" "Bless you!" "Aaaccchhoooooo!" "Dude what the hell?! youre jus pushing it now!"