Prostitute Funny Status Messages

   Everytime I see a mattress tied to the top of a car, I think….there’s another prostitute making a house call

   And then there was the blind prostitute. You really have to hand it to her....

   And then there was the blind prostitute. You really have to mouth* it to her....

   I told my boyfriend he needs professional help. He hired a prostitute.... well played.

   Strawberry pancakes are just like regular pancakes but they got arrested for coke possession and picking up a prostitute in 1999.

   I think this midget prostitute is really selling herself short.

   Don't take life laying down. That is, unless you're a prostitute. . .

   Fun Fact: Prostitution exists among some animals too. They prostitute themselves for things like stones or food.

   Everytime I see a mattress on a car, I always think it's a prostitute making a house call.

   There's a secret apartment at the top of the Eiffel Tower. Oui, Oui, this is where I plan to meet a French prostitute the next time I visit Paris.

   OK, You're telling me you're not a slut ..... So ... Does that mean you are some kind of volunteer prostitute or something?

   I want to set the record straight.....I thought the cop was a prostitute!!!!...lol

   An Example of complete business failure due to professional Negligence is a PREGNANT Prostitute

   Last Halloween night while at a bus stop. I saw a priest, a nun and a prostitute pass buy. Still don't know if they were wearing a costume for Halloween or not.

   A Prostitute new to the game was told by her pimp “No sex for the first 7 days..just wanks!” She asked.. “Why only wanks?”..her pimp said.. “Union rules!..you gotta work a week in hand!”

   Lyft and Uber will have you outside, looking like a prostitute. My goodness..

   Fellas; Someone you are unable to hang out with when you are broke is not your girlfriend. That’s a prostitute.

   If a prostitute gets pregnant from a client, can she call the National Accident Helpline?

   Expecting truth from corporate media is like expecting love from a prostitute. That’s not why they exist.

   An 83-year-old male prostitute was arrested in New Jersey over the weekend. Police say he only charged $20 an hour, but for most of that time, he just talked about his grandkids.