KISSTOPHER Funny Status Messages

   Ever just apologize for no reason whatsoever? No? It must be nice being single.

   Marriage is like prison except the food is better and your cellmate never changes.

   Ladies, if what you did to him cannot be fixed with a blow job then I suggest you better start looking for a new boyfriend.

   If you don’t tell your girlfriend she’s beautiful everyday, 614 guys on Facebook who haven’t had sex or even been on a date in 9 years will.

   In my car, I control the music. If this is a problem for you, just remember this... your life is in my hands. I am the one who is driving. I can kill us.

   Saw a girl at Starbucks with a duck face. Felt bad because I left my bread crumbs at home.

   I'm black but not "ain't nobody got time for that" black.

   She told me she was a vegan so I pretended I never met herbivore.

   Life caught me caring and punished me accordingly.