urboyblue Funny Status Messages

   The first time I saw my ex in a thong I had to pay a cover charge....to see that same thong on her today, I would have to pay a surgeon!!

   If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher!!

   When someone ends their posts with "just sayin" I would love to smack the sh!t out of them and poke their eyeballs out with an ice pick....other than that I am having a great day!!

   OK...if you're a fish, do you have to wait 30 mins to swim after you eat??

   Wonder if all the fake Facebooker's will be real on Halloween and tell us how their life is really going??

   Conrad Murray convicted of killing a pedophile and we cheer at the verdict?? I bet Dexter Morgan is pleased even tho he didn't get to make a trip to Neverland Ranch!!

   Black Friday is all the companies telling you they could sell their products at these prices everyday of the year....kinda reminding of us of how stupid we are and how greedy they are!!

   Now that Black Friday is over, wonder if Mexican Saturday means things are free??

   "Leave It To Beaver" is what I am calling it...it's a club for distraught men that have a hard time dealing with women!!

   God looked at Adam when Eve fell into the ocean and asked: "How am I gonna get that smell out of those fish??"

   All you damn people inviting me to Castleville get on Battlefield 3 so I can knife you!!

   Wish they had a NuvaRing that would fit in a woman's mouth!! Then we could take it out when we wanted to talk!!

   If you hold a woman up to your ear and wait til the screaming stops....you can faintly hear her tell you she wants money, house, cars and fine jewelry!!

   Like if the T Mobile commercial gets your attention because you thought you heard "Walking in an Orgy Wonderland"!! Gets me every time!!

   If the world doesn't end on Dec 21 2012....I have a feeling that there will be alot of babies born on Sept 20th 2013!!

   I'm wearing my pants today at half mast....are you??

   Float like a butterfly and sting like a bee....today is my birthday and I am 70!!

   Why do women like men who are smart, goal oriented and have a sense of humor?? Because opposites attract!!

   I thought LL in LL Cool J meant :adies Love....it obviously means "Lip Licker" cuz that's all he does after he finishes a sentence!! Gotta love the Grammy's!!

   Without Adele...this would be the worst Grammy's ever lol kinda like the Super Bowl Commercials this year without Clint Eastwood!!