ron Funny Status Messages

   Dear God, it's me again. Can you bring the toolbox? My life needs fixing.

   can't really remember, but I think my life must have been a lot more productive before I discovered Facebook...

   Oh Facebook! you go through more Design Changes than Women do wid clothes!!

   now knows what Johnny Cash was singing about in "Ring of Fire." He ate at Taco Bell last night.

   wonders why dogs run to the door when someone knocks? It's never for them.

   "Charlie Sheen and M. Qaddafi must of drank the Kool-Aid"-James Jones

   Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.

   Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

   There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again.

   By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

   Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.

   If there's one thing I know it's God does love a good joke.

   FACEBOOK asks me what I'm thinking, TWITTER asks me what I'm doing, FOURSQUARE asks me where I am. Conclusion: Internet is my girlfriend!

   Conserve energy: How would you feel if someone turned you on and then left?

   Raise your hand if you would add your boss as a Facebook friend. Now with the other hand slap yourself in the face.

   If drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic.

   What's drinking? A mere pause from thinking!

   Everybody should believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink.

   FACEBOOK is the second most popular word that starts with "F" and ends with "K" ; )

   decided to give up searching his belly button for Lent!