jitney Funny Status Messages

   The Book of ELI, was opened in the Fourth Quarter of the SuperBowl!!!!

   Everyone is the same color when the lights are off......

   The one time I wish my phone would cut off a day before Valentine's Day, Sprint decides to call me and give me an extra 7 days to make a payment..........(-_-)yeesh

   Cant Stop Crying :( Maybe I should get away from these onions.

   My 10-top All-star Celebrities on Drugs list is Ruined!!! Anybody wanna trade Drew Barrymore??

   IN OTHER NEWS: A picture of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone next to each other in the hospital bed, side by side for shoulder surgeries, was taken this week. Can you imagine listening and trying to understand that conversation?

   Valentine Eve: worst time of the year.....constantly remind how single you are or stuck with this looser cupid picked out for you.

   "So whose the Doctor who overdose Whitney Houston and how many years he getting?", says Dr Conrad.......

   I've Realized Something Today.. No Matter How Hard You Try To Plan Your Life.. Life Has A Plan For You All On Its Own..

   Michael jackson died 1day before the BET AWARDS....Amy Whinehouse died 1day before the VMA'S and whitney houston died 1day before the GRAMMYs...so are we Expected to expect more pre award and post award deaths?!

   Get ready for a repeat of Michael Jackson's case ... Investigators are trying to go after the doctors who wrote Whitney Houston's prescriptions....

   Welp ladies valentines day is over. Time for the men to go back to being a-holes again.

   I'm getting suspicious about my doctor, I think he's trying to turn me into MJ or Whitney on the slide......

   I had a pet hamster, my idiot brother put a sweater over it and next thing I know, Bam!!! dammm hamster is making millions and rap videos for KIA in my old hoodie!!! Can you imagine what this dog and cat are thinking.....

   Bad Timing: When the girl who had a crush on me for 2yrs, sneaks up behind me and gives me a hug right when I just farted! !

   Girl Gamers are the most misjudge characters ever. Guys sees them as Goddesses, industry sees them as Barbie-Wii Mario-Bros chicks, parents sees them as boys, girls sees em as Fatty Emos, when they just are girls with controllers trying to be badasses!

   Bobby Brown abruptly left Whitney Houston's funeral at about 12:20. Heard it was for a smoke break. I think he's just jealous of Kevin Costner's speech

   called your boyfriend gay, and he marked up my car with lipstick.

   FACT: Some people will steal your stuff and then help you look for it.

   My kids call themselves changing their rooms around. All they did was move the t.v