jeff Funny Status Messages

   ran 2.7 miles today. apparently the ice cream truck doesnt have rear view mirrors.

   Somewhere in Florida, a strip club just gained an employee.

   Im thinking of opening a specialty store that caters to people with A.D.D. I will call it "The Shiny Squirrel". Or I might just throw rocks at this tree.

   Everyday I'm shoveling!

   if I took a drink every time Musburger said "Honey Badger", I would have passed out in the 3rd quarter.

   My friend Mary joined me for dinner. I had a petite filet and Mary had a little lamb!

   99% of people in this world are stupid, luckily I`m in the other 7%.

   The political frustrations of this week remind me how happy I am to have allegiance to greater kingdom.

   there is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot

   RESEARCH: Tin foil hat club. Too much time on hands club. Lives in parents basement club.

   The Asians haven't been this embarrassed since William Hung was singing "She Bangs, She Bangs"

   In a final selfless gesture, Abe Vigoda will be donating his ear hair to Locks Of Love.

   I must have drank more than I thought last night...there's an entire hour that I don't remember!

   the S or the C silent in the word scent?