cicci Funny Status Messages

   Why is Matthew McConaughey still on my tv in car commercial form? Have we learned nothing from our mistakes?

   Apparently during one of the celebrations/riots in Philadelphia someone was arrested for punching a police horse. The man spent the night in jail while the horse was listed a being in “stable “ condition.

   Every fad becomes a punchline. We build things up jus to knock them down.

   There’s actually a thing called “Play Dates “ in 2018. In 1984 we called that “Going outside to play”

   Hear those bangs and explosions? That’s the sound of freedom. That’s America! Let’s not deny others this opportunity.

   So I asked her “what is that alluring perfume you’re wearing “ and she says “OFF Mosquito repellent “ Gets me every time!

   Pets are animals that aren’t delicious.

   I have an “L” shaped sofa. Lower case.

   I refused to buy my 6 year old nephew a Barbie doll for his birthday because I believe that Barbie dolls give little boys unrealistic expectations. There is no way you could rip a woman’s head off that easily.

   I wonder if Yoda from Star Wars last name was “Layeehoo”.

   Looking back on all the crap I learned in school.... I’d say cursive writing is probably the least used skill ever taught.

   People say “the early bird gets the worm.” But everyone freaks out when I drink tequila at 8am

   RIP Chewbacca aka Peter Mayhew. I’d like to say a few words if I may. RAAARAWWARARWAAAR.

   Avatar is the highest grossing film of all time. Can someone please explain why we let THAT happen?

   Spoiler Alert: Penny strangles Sheldon to death on the last episode of The Big Bang Theory.

   I can’t wait for the day when all the DJ Khaled fans turn 30 years old. Music today absolutely blows and he’s the leader. Just because you can push a button and yell a random phrase like “go n get it” does not make you an artist.

   Cardi B is a former stripper. Prime example of why the expression “Don’t quit your day job” was created.

   I finally finished reading “Great Expectations “ . It wasn’t all I hoped for.