bryan j brown Funny Status Messages

   As a guy I think you can learn so much by listening to two women talk to each other..Unless they are talking about periods then you just need to excuse yourself...Cuz some mysteries should remain unsolved...

   They say Hard times don't last forever...So someone might wanna tell Hard times that :/

   I think I need a catch phrase after sex...Something like "You've just been blessed!!" or "And now you know...And knowing is half the battle!!" or my personal favorite "Shazaam!!"

   The lil bro said he heard a noise in his closet so he wanted me too do a monster check just to make sure...So I did even tho I tried to explain that if the monster is in the closet hes probably not that scary...maybe a lil glittery...but not scary

   They truly don't make movies like they use too...When I was a kid movies had values, morals and ethics...And without these great movies how would I have ever known that I "Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead"...

   If your girlfriend spend most of her free time watching "Law and Order" "CSI" "The First 48" "Dexter" and "Snapped"...Do yourself a big favor and go buy her flowers...

   You know if I was the ruler of my own country and I thought the people were gonna revolt against me...I would probably give them free rice krispies treats...Cuz aint no way you could stay mad at someone whose giving you free rice krispies treats...

   You would think old people would drive a lil faster...I mean its not like they have alot of time to waste..Right?

   Sometimes if I get scared at night..I just tell myself there are no such things as ghost only clumsy ninjas....

   Hell no I don't use a Loofah in the shower....I use a Man-Sponge!!...There's a difference lol

   Its sad that at a certain point some peoples promises just start too sound like Charlie Brown's Teacher..."Wah wah wah wah wah wah"

   these kids today are lucky they have the soft plastic jungle-gyms with straw padding the ground..Instead of those broken down wooden death traps we had too play on as kids with that soft cement to break your fall...

   I miss the metal slides that would give you 3rd degree burns on a hot summers day...Goodtimes!!

   Cant wait till "National Balls Cancer Awareness Month" so I can confuse you ladies and talk about my cravings...

   I think its unfair that men and women are not treated equally...It just seems wrong that women can show a lil boobie and get out of a speeding ticket but when I show a lil ball I get arrested...It just aint right

   I bet people in jail don't use scented body wash...Cuz the last thing you want is some dude rolling up on you talking bout, "Sniff sniff...You smell like Cherry Fruit Passion".....

   You know your in the south when you can get your fried chicken and gas at the same store...

   Dont let the ladies fool you cuz deep down they know they need us men...If not for the orgygasims then at least for are ability too kill spiders and open jars...

   ‎"When we die, our bodies become the grass, and the antelope eat the grass. And so we are all connnected in the great Circle of Life..." You know now that I'm older this circle of life doesn't really seem that balanced... Especially if your the antelope

   Kinda sad that future generations wont get the joy of watching scrabbled porn..."Is that a boobie or an elbow??...Hmm I dont know but it's gonna have too do"...