Will Funny Status Messages

   Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning.

   Lite: the new way to spell "Light," now with 20% fewer letters!

   Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness.

   Have you ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you've had?

   I'd like to kick you in the teeth, but why should I improve your looks?

   Who designed the pants with the word pink on the back? It should be on the front, and the back should say brown.

   You are the kind of a person that we could use as a blueprint to build an idiot.

   I'm sorry, Talking to you seems as appealing as playing leapfrog with unicorns.

   In the long run the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip.

   In Los Angeles they don't throw out their garbage. They make it into television shows.

   I personally know that being stupid is its own reward

   I went fishing for bottom feeders yesterday, and caught a R0unders!

   Don't you just love nature? Dispite what it did to your face.

   Frosted animal crackers, proof that this generation is too fat!

   Do you want people to accept you as you are? Or do you want them to like you?

   S.C.H.O.O.L. = Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Life

   Thinks that if someone says plz because it's shorter than please, you should say no because it's shorter than yes.

   My mom always said kill them with kindness, but for you I'm getting my gun!

   I'll call the people I see at work "coworkers" as soon as they start doing some work.

   Why is the Sunday paper available on Saturday, does nothing happen that's worth calling news on Saturday?