Surge yarmolyuk Funny Status Messages

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   I wish we could google how a certain person feels about us.

   MySpace and Facebook got a divorce... Looks like Facebook got custody of all the kids.

   The Weird moment when somebody is cross-eyed and you dont know which eye to look at.

   Just found out "suns" upside down is still "suns"

   Ale-Ale-Andro, Judas, Juda-ah-ah, Pa-Pa-Pa-Pokerface, Te-Te-Te-Telephone... I think lady gaga has a studdering problem.

   I like going to McDonald's and asking for an application. Then I crumble it up and yell "HA! Like I'd work here. Get me a chocolate shake."

   Have you notice "racecar" backwards is a "racecar"

   i wish I was a white crayon , So no one could use me

   Stop chasing him. Stop turn around and see who's chasing you

   The worst kind of human contact is "eye contact through that crack in a bathroom stall when you're pulling up your pants" contact.

   miss being a kid. No one cared how you dressed, we were all friends, and you could be yourself. When did we turn so judgmental?

   In RELATIONSHIP status they should add "Flirtationship"- more than a friendship, less than a relationship

   I hate it when a shower only has two options, either 3rd degree burns or skinny dipping in Antarctica.

   If someone breaks your heart, just punch them in the face. Seriously, punch them in the face and go get some ice cream.

   Difference between promises and memories? We break promises, and our memories break us.

   'Everyday I'm shufflin!' Wait no, except on Fridays. I gotta get down on Fridays.

   Two things define your Personality, The way you manage things when you have nothing. The way you behave when you have everything.

   After reading this sentence you will realize that the the brain doesn't recognize a second 'the'.

   Cell phones should have the option to change "airplane mode" to "drunk mode" that way your drunk texts never leave your phone.