KIsstopher Funny Status Messages

   Every woman has that ONE guy she will never lose feelings for, even if she gets married to another.

   Ladies remember: Being honest and direct doesn't make you a B*tch. It makes you the Realest B*tch no-one dares to mess with.

   We all have that ONE person we would gladly take back in a second...No matter how much bullsh*t they put us through and hurt us in the past.

   If sex is the food of love then masturbation must be the snacks between meals.

   Your girlfriend is Rated E for "EVERYONE"

   I think all women who say, "All men are Jerks" mean to say, "All the men I chose to date are jerks" or put simply, "I am attracted to jerks"

   If you actually believe in this Doomsday & Rapture nonsense...Please gracefully delete yourself from my friend's list...Coz I am allergic to retards and idiots.

   Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools and idiots are on the same side.

   At least this apocalypse and rapture debacle has conclusively proven one significant fact: We are not alone! We have idiots living among us!

   Your first mistake was leaving me. Your second mistake was thinking I would die without you.

   I got on Facebook to look up long lost friends. It's true what they say, that it's best to let sleeping dogs lie

   My plan to discombobulate people with big words has failed egregiously.

   Teach me and I'll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I'll understand.

   I think you are funny. My girlfriend thinks you are hot, all of a sudden you not so funny anymore

   Excuse me guys, help here. What does it mean if the husband of a woman you have been flirting with on Facebook sends you a friend request? Am I in trouble? Should I be worried?

   When will women ever learn? Never post pictures of yourself and your hotter friend posing together. Especially when she has bigger boobs than you. It will only make you invisible and insignificant.

   Pregnancy Test: The magic wand that can make a man disappear.

   Problem is people confuse LOVE with BUSINESS. If you are with her because she gives the best BJs and she is with you because you pay all her bills then thats not a LOVE affair, that's just a BUSINESS arrangement.

   What's the difference between a liar and a cheater? Nothing, they're practically brothers!

   Whats with people who reach facebook maximum friends limit and have to open another account to accommodate more new friends? Are you really that popular or you are just a slut?