JAB Funny Status Messages

   Just when I got the best place to hide a body, I forgot who I lent my shovel. . .

   If anyone is looking for an unlicensed helicopter pilot give me a call. . .

   Getting paid to rate porn. Well, that's the excuse I will give if I am caught watching it. . .

   The American Quarter Horse has unique features that make it specially suited for a variety of tasks. Ya, Quarter pounder with cheese at McDonalds. Coincidence ?

   Hello, it was great ignoring each other while I was here. We need to do this more often. . .

   The best part about being an adult is, nobody can tell you, you can't have ice cream for breakfast. . .

   I think states are over looking the Dr Kevorkian method. Enough said. . .

   I was wondering if I go on a Banana diet, will I end up throwing my feces like a gorilla does. . .

   Since when did the bucket list turned into the bucket challenge. . .

   If I've learned anything from the Kardashians... it's that I shouldn't let my complete lack of talent hold me back. Now who wants to make some porn. . .

   I remember back in the 70's when Yoga was called Twister. . .

   Facebook. The lost and found for people. . .

   If he doesn't with the Super Bowl this year with the Jets. Rex Ryan asked Bill Belichick to sell him one of his Super Bowl rings. . .

   I tried to buy a zebra from the zoo and I was told it was not for sale. I said it should be it has bar codes all over it. . .

   A bucket of ice water is no challenge. Now, a bucket of s#it from a portajohn is a challenge. . .

   Growing up Italian. My mothers meatballs are better than your Moms. . .

   Two cannibals are eating a clown and one says to the other, does this taste funny to you. . .

   I will accept drink a case of beer challenge. . .

   Joan Rivers is in the hospital doing the kick the bucket challenge. . .

   Roses are red, violets are blue, a case of beer costs less than dinner for two. . .