FLIPPHONESCOTT Funny Status Messages

   kinda pissed off right now! going to put on red polo and walk around target and vent!

   my new years resolution is to keep my my new years resolution!

   ‎2013 is the chinese year of the snake. I hope I can quit putting dragon on my checks

   Diet is going great! No hostess snack cakes at all this year

   The truth is, I find it very stressful that Smokey thinks that I'm the only one that can prevent forest fires. I don't feel trained for this, and I certainly didn't sign up for the position.

   kids at the front door selling drugs!!!! I got 3 boxes of thin mints coming!

   my underwear is kinda half- assing it today

   wow danica patrick just got a rubber in the rear end in vegas on tv!

   think comcast went back to dial up today...... just saying

   if any body needs me I will be over here waiting for football season

   I got health insurance again! I get to go to a english speaking doctor

   maybe I will knock one out before sportscenter

   how can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat ?

   buying bottles rockets and crown royal! good day to be a grown-up

   Only a few things Reeses cups will not fix!

   i will never buy a foam finger again !

   If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?

   Today is going to be a non-labor day

   when did the world give up on Common Courtesy

   i have a bad moisture-induced glitter clump problem!