Dopey420 Funny Status Messages

   There is really a Miss Facebook beauty pageant. I wonder if the bathroom pictures are scored lower?

   Bill Clinton was recently seen smoking a pipe. When asked why he wasn't smoking a cigar he said, ''Cigars are for pu**ies." Clinton rules!

   Two winners for mega millions. One in Indiana and one in Michigan. I hope they both lose their tickets in the snow!

   Just got a new puppy! I named him Go away, poor little guy is going to be so confused everytime I call him.

   Everybody in Chicago is moaning about the snow. Um it is winter and it is Chicago, what dou you expect? Sunshine and lollipops?

   Maybe if tmobile spent less time on attack commercials, and more time creating phones, and providing a good signal their company would suck a little less. iPhone is still the best!

   I think Martin Lawrence should just come out of the closet and admit he's a crossdresser already.

   Every day I am forced to add another name to the list of people who piss me off.

   Go ahead, tell us everything you know. It'll only take 10 seconds.

   Can't we all just get abong?

   I wanna sleep with her, I wanna sleep with her, I wanna sleep with her, I wanna sleep with her, men don't think like that. We think I wanna screw her! No sleep involved

   If my girlfriend had a little plasma on her forehead with a football game on, I'd always give her my undivided attention.

   34 days till steak and rh day! :D

   I just saved a bunch of money on my child support by switching to condoms

   Missing wife and dog. Reward for dog.

   Yesterday I told my girlfriend to come over because no one is home. I don't know why she was so mad when she arrived to my empty house. I said "no one".

   When I'm at a bar I aways look for a girl who has a tattoo. I see a tattoo, and I think, here's a girl who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.

   What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a positive side!

   AT&T should make a commercial with the pink dress girl naked and say, hey tmobile where is your clothes? And the girl can say you bought it right off my back.

   I'm so sick of hearing about the rapture... Shut up already, if it happens we'll have all eternity to talk about it in he'll.