Corey C Funny Status Messages

   I went and saw beauty and the beast the other day, it wasn't as interesting as I thought it would be. He was pushing a cart and she was drinking a diet coke while sifting through the 5 dollar movies at Wal Mart........

   best friend....someone who walks in with a flashlight when life is the darkest....

   ahh yes the 7-11 Big Gulp. How much soda can one person drink???? If I ever get one again I will make sure the bed of my truck is cleaned out and I have a hand dolly to wheel it out of the store..............

   Ever wonder why the side of the car says" to protect and serve"????? Protect the donuts and serve the coffee................

   When god created china he knew he would never have to make anything else again.....

   before getting married there are 2 words a man must know that are crucial to his survival....."Yes Dear"........

   excuse me......Is that a spray on tan or did you roll in a bag of doritos???????????????????

   Just experienced that rare moment when you flip your hoody up just right and realize that if ever called upon you could wield a light saber and take orders from a little green creature with big ears.....

   Be careful how many sticks and stones you throw at others because some are skilled at building catapults.

   Breaking news!!!! US Airforce seen dropping naked Trump statues onto an ISIS Stronghold In Northern Syria!!!!!

   Still waiting to be awarded the bronze medal in "Channel Surfing" from the international Olympic committee!!!!...

   It was a toss up tonight between turning on the nightly news or migrating to Singapore to get an Organ illegally harvested.