@gnarleycharley Funny Status Messages

   I have been watching that new reality show on the History channel...I had no idea that Bill Paxton hated Kevin Costner....

   I went to Chick-fil-a for lunch...You have to try the Chick on Chick sandwich...

   Can't wait to buy Randy Travis's new album "Down and Loaded"with the hit single "Pants On The Ground"

   make sure you spell Harry correct and don't leave out the word "Prince" in your search for Harry Nude pictures....

   Just saw Styx at the County Fair....Wow,  if you gave them machine guns they could double as the Euro-Villans  from Die hard....

   If they can't elect a Pope in a week they should declare Overtime...and just play ROCK BIBLE SCISSORS

   Wake up on a strangers couch...check...use GPS to find out where I am....check ....walk to eat alone....check....return Tyson's Tiger...

   The Chupacabra came down the chimney and left me a Piñata full of coal ...that means 6 more months of Tequila! Happy Cinco De Mayo

   I'm always nice to the new guy at work, because you can make bank on the show "Undercover Boss"

   Since the Statue of Liberty was a gift from France, I'm surprised she didn't come with both arms raised....Have a Happy 4th of July!

   I just walked into my house and yelled "Nobody I'm Home"....I think I need a dog.

   .. .----. -- / -... .-. .. -. --. .. -. --. / -- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. . / -... .- -.-. -.- ? ? ? Screw texting I'm bringing Morse Code back

   Trying to put together last night events. No tiger in the bathroom. No face tattoo, ....can't find my pants

   Oh, I would love to stay for your yoga class....but, I think I would rather floss with barbwire or give myself a tattoo.

   2 hours ago · WOW... I think Easter is getting here earlier and earlier....apparently I missed Justin Bieber's neighborhood egg hunt.

   Not since the OJ chase has American been disappointed with a slow white bronco

   My Facebook movie got a X rating...apparently Face Book is way more into my X then ME!

   Watching the Walking Dead and eating strips of Tri-tip soaked in BBQ sauce is turning out to be a horrible decision.....

   Its Memorial Day Weekend and we have the media shoving Kanye & Kim’s wedding down out throats? The brave fallen solders of WWII fought so hard to defeat the Nazi’s so we can have the freedom to change the channel.

   Best worm parent advice... Try to sleep in kids.