@OMFG_Rel8able Funny Status Messages

   Definition of bravery: Trying to fart when you have diarrhea.

   Studying: The act of texting, eating, and watching TV with an open textbook nearby

   Halloween isn't really that different than any other day.. everyone's still pretending to be someone or something their not.

   If I wave at you, you better wave back and not make me look stupid!

   I don't know what's more awkward, Answering Dora, Or sitting there in total silence while she stares at you..

   I hate it when someone else buys the things I mentally claimed

   Taking a test at school: My answer is Yes. If yes please explain...my answer is No

   Whoever said “nothing is impossible” has obviously never seen me doing nothing.

   I'm about to yell inside an envelope!....voice mail..b*tch

   Changing a whole text because you didn't know how to spell one word.

   I Just Saw two homeless guys hitting eachother with cardboard; PILLOW FIGHT?!

   Walking around the kitchen, like Pac-Man when you're hungry.

   "You're so ugly!" "Really?" "Yes!" "Good, I was trying to look like you today..."

   Who else thought Spongebob's parents were cookies?

   When you're walking and texting and you walk slower and slower and slower till you're just standing there texting..

   Those cheap-ass pencils with erasers that fu*k up the paper more than the mistake you want to erase.

   right before I die I'm going to say " I left a million dollars in the.."

   : No I have not gained weight, Your eyes just got fat

   That yellow shirt looks good on you... It really brings out the color in your teeth.

   One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I'm going to bed