Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   Donald Trump's approval rating has dropped to 37%. Norman Bates scored higher with his mother.

   Hey Mr. President. Mother Nature called. She wants her protection back.

   If you think Mike Pence referring to his wife as mother is disturbing, just wait until you hear what Trump calls Ivanka behind closed doors.

   OKAY honey don't freak out someone broke into the house, ate all the ice cream, smashed that picture of your mother, and didn't do the dishes.

   I just dropped a MOABM .. mother of all bowel movements

   there a deadbeat son-in-law of all bombs somewhere complaining about his mother-in-law of all bombs?

   Happy Mother's Day to my sister for having my kids......some Trump supporter maybe....

   Me: I need to ask you a serious question. GF: OK! First, let me get my mother, sister, BFF and college roommate on speakerphone!! Me: OK, why does a wool sweater shrink when you wash it but sheep don't shrink when it rains??

   The Mrs is visiting her mother this weekend, so the dog and I are smoking cigars and playing poker. In our underware!!!!!

   * Reverend mother has been constipated for a week. The nuns tried home remedies without sussess. One nun said how about I go out to a bar. The other nuns ask how will that help ? She said if I go and come back drunk reverend mother will sh*t for sure.

   To the people who are offended by this song...Well...let me tell you.. The Lady is a Tramp song by Frank Sinatra was a song written about my mother! Now,if you got a problem with thiat Then....Obviously that means you must have slept with her..

   Trump condemns Hurricane Harvey for violence and devastation, but insists "Texans have provoked Mother Nature. There's blame on many sides."

   ..School has started. I got my life back. What evey mother is thinking.

   The people of Puerto Rico have unfortunately discovered just how much power mother nature has. Yet, there will be those arrogant humans who'll continue to think that we're solely responsible for climate change.

   Conflicting emotions: Watching your mother in-law drive off a cliff in your brand new car.

   My mother in law won "best decorated house" yesterday for Halloween?..she was only opening the curtains?

   My mother-in-law sent me the link to the site where you can buy a boarding pass to Mars. She even offered to pay for the ticket. That's so sweet of her.

   One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "OK, send me your mother.

   You'll never be the man your mother is.

   You know its sad when your mother is on facebook and guys younger than you are poking her