Joser Funny Status Messages
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Page: 26 of 39
I'm on this insane diet. So far, I've lost my mind.
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06-14-2010 19:13 by Joser
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I just responded to a text message someone sent me a year ago with, "yeah, sounds good. Let's do that."
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06-14-2010 19:14 by Joser
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A leopard can't change its spots, unless it has Photoshop.
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06-15-2010 17:31 by Joser
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Bronchitis is my least favorite dinosaur.
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06-15-2010 17:32 by joser
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Eating kidney beans is a very small step towards cannibalism...
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06-15-2010 17:33 by Joser
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It's obvious that Ed Hardy is g@y. No straight man would decide he would rather design clothing than solve mysteries with his brothers...
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06-15-2010 17:35 by Joser
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All my friends who have Girlfriends want to be single... All my friends who are single want girlfriend friends... As for me, I just want a slave...
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06-15-2010 17:40 by Joser
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wants you to know that you have my undivided, continuous, partial attention.
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06-15-2010 18:38 by Joser
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Thinks that if I was a zookeeper, I wouldn't even bother putting anything in the chameleon exhibit.
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06-15-2010 18:39 by Joser
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Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt... hehehe suckers!!!
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06-15-2010 18:47 by Joser
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Still working on an electromagnetic pulsating device to disable cell phones in theaters. For now, please continue making do with neckpunches.
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06-16-2010 17:52 by Joser
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If food at McDonald's looked anything like on the commercials, McDonald's customers would look even less like the people on the commercials.
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06-16-2010 17:53 by Joser
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What kind of troopers does the Empire use when it's nice out?
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06-16-2010 17:54 by Joser
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I saw a sign that said END ROAD WORK. I find it annoying too, but I don't think I would protest against it.
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06-16-2010 17:57 by Joser
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Reminder, fellas: bra cups come in sizes AA, A, B, C, D, DD, OMG, WTF.
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06-16-2010 17:58 by Joser
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I'd still be extremely impressed with a one trick pony if the trick were juggling.
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06-16-2010 17:58 by Joser
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You can't talk to me that way. Seriously, turn towards me so I can hear what you're saying.
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06-16-2010 18:00 by Joser
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Every Ice Age starts the same way. With a lonely squirrel just tryin' to get a nut.
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06-16-2010 18:14 by Joser
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Look, all we have to do is put little pieces of paper with mystical-sounding gibberish on them inside these cookies -- we'll make a fortune!
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06-16-2010 18:16 by Joser
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I saw a PETA add with several attractive women saying “I'd rather go naked than wear fur”. Please, no one tell them there's a third option.
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06-16-2010 18:17 by Joser
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