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Joser Funny Status Messages
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I just watch a naked Chinese man run into a wall at full speed with a hard on. He broke his nose.
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06-11-2010 17:37 by
Joser
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4
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Dinner is no fun anymore since I stopped pretending I'm on TV when I'm cooking.
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06-11-2010 17:38 by
Joser
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Blind people must get stuck in bad relationships because they can't see other people.
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06-11-2010 17:38 by
Joser
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I fight evil wherever it may be....except in dark scary places.
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06-11-2010 18:07 by
Joser
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The car stopped with a jerk. Then the jerk got out.
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06-11-2010 18:07 by
Joser
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My Girlfriend says I have a way with words..the WRONG way.
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06-11-2010 18:09 by
Joser
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Doctors write the prescriptions illegibly so you can't see that it says: "This one had insurance. Don't kill him."
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06-11-2010 18:09 by
Joser
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I'd rather be late in this world than early in the next.
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06-11-2010 18:09 by
Joser
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0
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Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.
27
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06-11-2010 18:10 by
Joser
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Well aren't you a waste of two billion years of evolution.
50
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06-11-2010 18:10 by
Joser
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Suicide is away of telling God, You can't fire me I quit !!!!!
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06-11-2010 19:16 by
Joser
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0
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surviving this massive amount of "family time" by pretending they are mental patients and I'm their case manager.
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06-11-2010 19:31 by
Joser
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often thought that what doesn't kill us makes us drink stronger liquor.
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06-11-2010 19:51 by
Joser
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I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.
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06-14-2010 19:09 by
Joser
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I wish more people would put their highways up for adoption. So many people want one and are unable to have their own.
5
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06-14-2010 19:10 by
Joser
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Some people have food in their teeth because no one likes them enough to mention it. This serves as an early warning system for @ssholes.
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06-14-2010 19:10 by
Joser
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0
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Looked over and saw a giant frickin' spider crawling on my shoulder, so if anyone needs me I'll be over here NEVER SLEEPING EVER AGAIN EVER.
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06-14-2010 19:11 by
Joser
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0
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Why are they called "Starving Artists" instead of "Untalented Hippies"?
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06-14-2010 19:11 by
Joser
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Probably the most awkward thing for Chinese parents is not explaining where babies come from, but rather, where they go.
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06-14-2010 19:12 by
Joser
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Let this be known as my Living Will. I do not wish to be cremated. If the Zombie Apocalypse happens I would like to be a part of it.
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06-14-2010 19:13 by
Joser
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0
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