Eddy Funny Status Messages

   I can;t afford the "Ring" doorbell so I use "honk" where friends pull up & honk their horn

   i find it ironic that when you go to the usps website to complain, they tell you to email them

   i think the word "divorce" should be hyphenated so the 2 halves of the word are separated

   watching "forensic files" & a commercial comes on about buying life insurance ... know your audience

   the best way to get over a woman is to get under another one

   Did you know Adam & Eve had the 1st computer? ...it was an Apple with 1 byte

   how do you tell the difference between a gator & a croc? gator is a mask while croc is a shoe

   If I subscribe to Amazon Prime, does that mean that I'm "in my prime" ?

   Why do Ziploc bags & trash bags come in a box? I guess the companies can't use bags

   Don't forget that today is "small business Saturday" so only subscribe to OnlyFans accounts in your town

   Why do they keep interrupting the commercials with a football game

   Someone should make a electric car company called "Edison" to compete with Tesla

   How did people know when Edison got the idea for the lightbulb? If it didn't exist yet, you wouldn't see a lightbulb above him that he just had an idea

   When a police car circles around to go after the criminal, how do you know it's a police car? .... It just did a donut

   Today isn't just for the kids..... it's also an egg hunt for the adults that are procrastinators

   When the China balloon was flying across the country, the Government should have used planes and jets to send it to the Seattle space needle

   What do you call a snowman in July? ...a puddle

   Why do gender reveal parties only surprise you with blue or pink? I've never seen anyone reveal the whole rainbow. Aren't people supposedly "born this way" ?

   Pee-Wee Herman died. In lieu of flowers, buy a ticket to the adult movie theater

   When everyone can see you're being a d!(k .... you're a cting like grey sweatpants