Eddy Funny Status Messages

   I have a friend who can tap dance backwards. His name is Pat

   transparent- noun, when your child is transgender, you are their transparent

   I need a meeting with Zuckerberg cause I don't get enough "likes"

   spoiler alert...tonight HBO dies

   if you have to use a snapchat filter for over half of your Facebook pictures, you know you're ugly

   someone needs to make a cereal that's in the shape of little cows...when you add the milk, you're milking the cows

   first we need a "space force" then later on, there isn't alien activity at area 51

   I collect memes like kids collect Pokemon cards. any good memes you want to trade?

   If you puncture a hole in a garbage bag in order to roll down your window, you might be a redneck

   my dr says to eat a piece of meat no bigger than the palm of my hand...good thing the Big Mac is stacked

   every toddler is just a mini version of Jack Skellington... "what's this, what's this"

   people who work at Amazon fulfillment centers should put their job status as "professional boxer"

   people talk about working on their "summer body" but I've been working on my winter body for years

   people worry about their "summer body" but I've been working on my "winter weight" for years

   if your PC gets a virus from a porn site, is that a STD for computers?

   every summer people try to work on their "summer body" ...i've been working on my winter body for years

   idk who "go round" is but all the kids on the playground want to marry her

   new drinking game...every time a member of congress coughs, take a drink

   what do you call a group of short people on a merry-go-round? ...a midget spinner

   excuses are like farts.... anyone can make them but nobody likes them