gay jeffrey Funny Status Messages

   If I had a chainsaw, that would be my answer to everything

   Alternate universe where all the nerds were bullied by the musicians in high school and the jocks protected them. That's where I live

   Dear son, Another hard year on the farm. Father had a stroke, bills are piling up. Are you famous on facebook yet? We are proud of you! -mom

   we can be friends or we can be spiders

   Ladies, please. Enough with the fighting. I have plenty of tentacles for everyone.

   I've accepted every email offer I've ever received. My p3 Nis is now 235 feet long.

   Bought a shirt with three wolves on it. Agressively seeking high fives from strangers.

   I enter a talent show. The judges say I don't have the right stuff. I pull out Tom Wolfe's 1979 book "The Right Stuff." The crowd goes wild.

   *Lance begins to cry. Oprah leans in* I think what you need Lance is a....performance enhancing hug

   Tarantino sounds like a brand of frozen pizzas

   Please stop praying for my grandpa you are making him too strong. He broke out of the hospital & cops say their guns don't work on him

   You look me in my eye and tell me that I don't have what it takes to be a Cyclops.