anonymous Funny Status Messages

   looking at you naked (mood: disappointed)

   the walrus

   clapping her hands and stomping her feet because she is happy and she knows it.

   your perfect drug

   If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

   letting you know your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory

   naked and playing twister with the cat .

   pulling up his pants..and saying no to crack

   thinking so what if Jesus turned water into wine... I turned a whole student loan into beer once. your move Jesus.

   laying in the road dressed as a deer

   "sniffing glue, going to the zoo, gonna free all the kangaroos. Suck it Dr. Seuss!"

   legally dead for tax purposes

   just not that into you.

   fed up of talking about himself in the 3rd person. Stupid (name)!

   "the kid next door's, imaginary friend"

   having trouble watering the plastic plants

   a Figment of your imagination

   "an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, nestled in a sesame seed bun of mystery."

   rejecting your reality and substituting his own.

   leaving your mouth with a great clean feeling