XX-FOXY Funny Status Messages

   I may not be the best, but I'm definitely not like the rest!

   Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package...

   A lot of problems would disappear if people talked to each other more than talking about each other.

   Never reject anybody in your life, because good people give us happiness and bad people give us experience. Both are essential in life!

   The difference between a smart man and a wise man is that a smart man knows what to say, a wise man knows whether or not to say it...

   Making a million friends is not a miracle. The miracle is to make a friend who will stand by you when millions are against you.

   A relationship without trust is like a phone without service. All you do is play games...

   Trust is like an eraser. It gets smaller and smaller after every mistake.

   When I get old, I don't want people thinking, "what a sweet old grandpa..." I want them to worry - "I hope he is not armed with AK 47..."

   Still haven't heard Obama or GOP candidates say anything about getting rid of Jersey Shore or deporting Justin Bieber back to Canada…

   Valentine's Day: Dinner for two - $80, Dessert - $20, Flowers - $50, Gold Necklace - $250, Bottle of French Champagne - $100, Godiva Strawberry Chocolates - $60… Look on his face after she says - “I'm on a period…” PRICELESS!!!

   Condoms DO NOT guarentee safe sex anymore... A FB friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's Husband...

   If a girl stabs you with a knife on the first date… How many days should you wait to ask her out again???

   Conference (noun), Definition: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

   Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock...

   My girlfriend said she wanted me to be more like her Ex. So I dumped her.

   If you need space then work at NASA

   Good judgement comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgement

   If at first you don't succeed, buy her another beer.

   Change is good as long as I don't have to do anything different.