Uncle Bubba Funny Status Messages

   Think we could get the North Korean hackers to end "Keeping Up With The Kardashians"?

   Sure hope someone in the stands knows how to do the Heimlich maneuver today in Dallas because there are going to be a lot of Cowboys choking

   Pro tip: Always tell anyone who calls you that your phone is about to die. This way they get straight to the point and won't waste your time.

   Called AA by mistake. Those drunks can't change a tire for sh*t.

   In a desperate attempt to get the Republican nomination and to show he would be Hillary's best foe, Dr. Ben Carson changes his last name to Gazi

   My wife looks super hot without glasses. That’s why I stopped wearing them.

   How great will it be when Trump steps up to the podium after accepting the Republican nomination and says "Live from New York, it's Saturday night"....

   The fact that there is a "Highway to Hell" and only a "Stairway to Heaven" says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers...

   If you're feeling down, I can feel you up.

   Melania has responded: "These accusations of plagiarism are not only hurtful to me, but are hurtful to my children Sasha and Malia"

   There is an American Olympic diver named "Steele Johnson". He could have a great job in adult films with that name...

   The night before the 1st day of school is just like Christmas Eve for parents

   How do you say Tony Romo in Spanish?..........Mark Sanchez

   You all have heard of Murphy's Law right?.....It states that anything that can go wrong will go wrong....But have you heard of Cole's Law?...It's shredded cabbage.

   How do Amish girls know if it's a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular one #DeepThoughts