Slickpony Funny Status Messages

   Look here Dora....If you ever want to see your monkey friend again you are gonna stick these condoms full of heroin in your ass and get them through customs....

   ‎"Dijon found himself spread upon a bed of lettuce, atop a thin slice of turkey breast....enveloped by steamy buns....garnished with a sweet, crisp pickle...." ~~ Excerpt from my new book "50 SHADES OF GREY POUPON"....

   so....I just got a Booty Call from Life....apparently it still wants to keep screwing me.... :(

   "Can't You Just Let Me Watch The Damn Football Game?" ~~ the Working Title of my new Childrens book, probably....

   "Hello 911?" "Someone just stole my status on Facebook....yes, I'll hold"....