SKoop Funny Status Messages

   The hardest part about solving this Magic Eye poster is that Seal keeps telling me to stop staring at his face.

   ❒Single ❒Taken ✔My right hand.

   :You know that saying "Once you go black, you never go back"? Well I tell you, it sure does not apply to licorice.

   :Apparently all the women that can deep throat are sitting in their rooms sexting all day.

   :The guy behind me has a theory that driving his car up my azz will make the 20 cars in front of me speed up.. Hmmm,, It's just crazy enough to work...

   : Nothing in the world is more obnoxious than a middle-aged white woman on her second glass of wine. Seriously, calm down

   :My girlfriend and I both think she's put on some weight. The difference? She's the only one who says it out loud. Yes, I'm smart

   :If I had a penny for every time someone called me a retard... Well... My sh!t would probably be full of half digested pennies.    

   :I'm so white I get uncomfortable saying knickers with a hard 'r'.

   :Shout out to single moms (because I know they put out).

   : I farted while lifting a heavy object today. It was very embarrassing. I had to apologise to the man at the next urinal.

   :Men, we all know the real reason there's always one missing sock. Shame. That's why.

   :I think I'm going to start calling other white guys "my Cracker" And get angry when black guys say it... No?

   :I've seen fashion girls do things for cocaine that even a dog wouldn't do for some peanut butter.

   :Medical fact: If a woman drinks two glasses of wine a day it increases the chance of a stroke. If you let her finish the bottle she'll probably suck it as well!

   :To all the fat chicks that only take pics from the neck up .... good try ... Very good try.

   :If you need to check our astrology signs to see if we are compatible... we are not.