MC Fazzerino Funny Status Messages

   99% of my wardrobe consists of T shirts. This of course got me to thinking....aren't ALL shirts T's? Anyone out there who doesn't have a bilateral symmetry form and is instead shaped like a "W"?

   I just had a bad dream. I went to the Facebook log in screen and it asked if I wanted to sign in using my Myspace account.

   Summer officially checked in at 1:04 am. For Floridians, it also clocked in at 1:04 am. Back in April.

   And if he winds up being a switch hitter..he'll be known as: North Bi North West....well sorta.

   I had a nightmare. I was having s-e-x with Paula Dean d0ggie style. I was pulling her hair and she was screaming, "AH CAINT BLEEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER!"

   Monday. What a horrible way to start the week.

   I'd like to slip into something more comfortable...you.

   Not sure which has gone more viral on facebook. Pics of cats, or cups of cappuccino with hearts drawn in the foam.

   Making home made Pop Tarts. I almost have it down, but getting the filling down to a thickness of 1/1,000,000 of an inch is becoming quite a challenge.

   You buy her a gift. She sleeps with you. The similarity here is that the s-e-x is also a gift since both things center on something coming in a box.

   The heavier the girl, the more pics of really buff guys go up on her timeline.

   You had me at, "Hello." You lost me at, "I have a cat."

   Great music lives on in perpetuity to those who seek it.

   The problem with us guys, is that we'd rather go for the hot chick rather than the cool one...

   Christmas will be here sooner than you think. Forget the gifts and commercialization, make it a time to be Merry. Unless you live in San Francisco....then make it a time to be Mary.

   Hey, somebody get ready to wake up the guy in Green Day.

   It's official. Yahoo Answers has surpassed the US Government as the all time record holder in not being able to accurately answer a simple question.

   In further keeping with the new American tradition of ruining holidays by starting them early and hurrying them along...I put up all my Christmas decorations yesterday, and took them back down this morning.

   And so my friends, this week rings in the 2013 holiday season. Everyone can now begin the time tested, seasonal tradition of turning into complete lunatics.

   I called the Atheist Dial-A-Prayer line. No one answered.