Goodeolboy Funny Status Messages

   Dance your cares away Worry's for another day Let the music play down at...

   I judge a hotel by the complimentary shampoo and conditioner.

   Today's tip: "Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line"! That is all.

   Listen seatbelt...I need you in an emergency situation, not when I reach for something in the cupholder.

   Dear construction worker: After 637 washes, your orange shirt is no longer classified as "high visibility".

   An American blue collar boy's simple pleasure: AM country classics!

   I don't want to hear you complain that you can't afford basic cable when you play $20 a week on the Lotto.

   Should I wear my top up... or down ... or up... or possibly... tucked in?

   there a market for a limo "General Lee" where you consume alcohol from a Mason jar and have direct access to a "Dixie" horn? One can only dream...

   Every status has the potential to be funny with the proper amount of alcohol and or narcotic.

   Due to the failing economy, trick or treaters will be ID this year. I will be giving out candy to the ages of 6 to 9 years of age. Parents with infants, we know the child can't eat candy due to the lack of teeth. Get your own damn candy thanks.

   You can always tell the pessimist on a cruise ship. He's the one wearing a shark suit the whole time.

   Ok gang, help me get in the loop. Is it considered taboo for Asians to drive vehicles other than a Honda or a Toyota?

   I always skip a few slices of bread as a quality control measure in a loaf. This step is to insure freshness.

   This is one of those times FB needs to tag my location as "in the middle of nowhere".

   Everyone is watching the fight tonight, and I'm over here loading Rocky into the DVD player a $100 richer #winning

   Fun prank for Californians: Adjust your wiper wash to spray the car behind you, making them believe it's raining.

   Remember way back when the only thing that was annoying on your feed were game requests?

   "Sharks are like dogs, they only bite when you touch their private parts"-Shark Week lesson of the day

   My Man Crush Monday is: Obama. I hope a rock falls, and crushes his head.