GaryKoenig Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Dear Santa! I want a fat bank account and a sexy body with rock hard abs for Christmas. Let's not get those two mixed up like you did last year.
←Rate | 12-01-2022 19:21 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Santa, you must be the bravest man around. Who else would let a bunch of deer pull them around in a sleigh during deer season?
←Rate | 12-02-2022 07:44 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am the reason Santa has a naughty list.
←Rate | 12-03-2022 13:03 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Santa: For Christmas this year I want a fat bank account and a slim body with sexy abs, but let's not get it mixed up like you did last year.
←Rate | 12-07-2022 22:04 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I sure hope you like your Christmas gift... It's a year's supply of me!
←Rate | 12-09-2022 09:53 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every year, my Christmas list begins with "Dear Santa, my sisters did it. But I have been very good this year, because I'm an angel!
←Rate | 12-10-2022 16:47 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon The holiday season is here. Remember to set your scales back 10lbs at midnight.
←Rate | 12-11-2022 21:00 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Santa, you break into people's houses and eat their cookies; don't judge me.
←Rate | 12-12-2022 06:02 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish Santa would just dump 100ft of coal around Biden and Nancy Pelosi's house.
←Rate | 12-13-2022 09:40 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Due to the extreme coal shortage, Santa will be giving out Justin Bieber cds to all the bad kids this year.
←Rate | 12-14-2022 17:38 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let me get this straight; a fat man who breaks and enters into my home, who steals all my Christmas cookies, is the one who judges if I'm naughty or nice?
←Rate | 12-16-2022 10:36 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Santa, I was good at being NAUGHTY. Does that count for anything?
←Rate | 12-17-2022 11:02 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder how was God able to find some wise men when most of us men don't even know how to stop and ask for directions when we're lost?
←Rate | 12-18-2022 07:45 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am the reason why Santa has a naughty list.
←Rate | 12-19-2022 15:39 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon No matter how old you may be, an empty wrapping paper tube is still a fun thing to use to bonk someone over the head with.
←Rate | 12-20-2022 06:08 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Santa put down the pen! I can explain everything!
←Rate | 12-21-2022 05:55 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Santa! Listen here! I'll keep eating my deer jerky while you give me what I want for Christmas or Rudolph is next. Make it happen fat man!
←Rate | 12-24-2022 15:58 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage tip 101: It is very important that your wife understands Commandment Number 1 in regards to marriage: "Thou shalt not nag". As soon as she understands this, she will grow in her duties and responsibilities as a wife.
←Rate | 01-15-2023 13:43 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon NO! I didn't fall on the floor! I attacked it with my wicked ninja skills! Aren't you jealous?
←Rate | 01-19-2023 19:21 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage tip: Make sure your wife always accommodates to your needs. "Honey, when you finish using the bathroom, you need to put the toilet seat back up".
←Rate | 01-22-2023 09:58 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  




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