FADOLO Funny Status Messages

   Home Alone = Porn at MAX Volume

   Makin Love Faces...(⊙_⊙) (⊙_-) (>__=) (=_-) (^_^) (O_^) [⊙_+] (x_X) (-_-) (°_⊙)(-_0) (^_⊙) (+_=)

   2011- :( 1800- The muscles of my mouth are set downwards in an unamused manner.

   The only time its acceptable for a girl to spit is if its into another girls mouth.

   I wish my farts would make people disintegrate like in "The Darkest Hour" movie trailer.

   Next time I see a dead deer on the side of da road I'm going to leave & come back dressed as Santa Clause with a sign says, "Help, need ride"

   When you're in the car alone everyone outside is a serial killer.

   That moment of depression when you find out that you ran out of milk for your cereal.

   That one creaky floorboard that blows your cover.

   The closest I've gotten to murder is holding cookies under the milk until the bubbles stopped.

   Birthdays then- 'Wow! Look at all these presents!' ... Birthdays now- 'Wow! Look at all these notifications!'

   Shutting the door to force your pet into spending time with you.

   The best way to get high for free is to tell potheads you've never smoked before.

   Me: "Can we have Up Dog for dinner?" Mom: "What is up dog?" Me: "nothin just chilling

   If you invite a girl over to "watch a movie" and actually watch a movie, you're a failure as a man.

   Fellas: If you're playing with your X-Box all day, she'll break up with you and some dude will be playing with your ex's box all night.

   I've just bought a 3D Kindle. Or a book as I like to call it.

   You're not in the club(-.(-.(-_-).-).-) well f**k you guys t(-_-t)

   White parents say, "Good morning, time for school" ...Black parents say, Getcha azz up, don't miss that bus

   Lil Wayne = 5% Black 95% Tattoos.