Doc Noland Funny Status Messages

   happy P.O.E.T.S. Day, everyone! Piss On Everything Tommrows Saturday.

   stands mighty in an elite group, Procrastinators! The leaders of tomorrow

   has finish with the Wild Turkey on the rocks for lunch, and moved on to Grey Goose straight up for Thanksgiving Dinner. this is just Fowl

   Dear Santa, Can we talk about this? I'm so sick and tired being on that list. I'm just having fun.

   Just realized that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a reindeer.

   cant believe he just watched the New Kids on The Backstreet Boys bring in the New Year...What a terrible way to brink in 2011

   noticed that Mick Jager and Hugh Hefner sure are looking alot these days

   saying "black and yellow black and yellow"... sounds like a R. Kelly home made video.

   Charlie Sheens Interview was like watching Tom Arnold, Tom Cruise and Michael J. Fox all rolled into one human.

   so Irish he bleeds whiskey.

   Elizabeth Taylor dead? I thought she had been dead for years.

   read tha Tiger Woods has a new Girlfriend who is 22 years old...does she not watch the news

   If I dont see you this Easter, Hide your own balls

   walking by the gas price sign at the Gas station and remembers the day when he could afford to drive to the gas station for his slushy

   was thinking tonight, if your parents sent you to school with a giant "lunchable" pack for your lunch everyday, they didnt love you

   noticed that while someone is speaking to him, 80% of his inner dialouge is wondering if his face looks interested

   just ate a Kit Kat and a multivitamin, like a F'n American!

   ate broccoli twice yesterday and now his car smells like a mobile crematorium that only cooks buttholes.

   just found 2 new nooks and 7 new crannies on his grandmother this morning.

   just saw a beautiful pregnant woman on crutches. He immediately has a deeply ingrained lifetime fetish.