DYLAN BOSCH Funny Status Messages

   if I mad 9.9 million dollars a year,.. a b*tch wouldn't be my problem either."

   my facebook wall is not the best way for me to respond to you Quicker,.. You'll have better luck getting a hold of me if you were to shout my name inside your own home... well,.. I guess depending on the situation."

   always relates everything he does with sports even when he's not watching or playing sports, well if anyone wants to know the score for today's game it was the Lawnmowers 42, Frogs 0."

   Do you wanna know how Interesting Soccer is to the Average American? Let's See, I'll name the two soccer players I've ever heard of.. David Beckham and.. I think Rod Stewart Played years ago."

   I kissed a girl on the playground in the summer of '96. Maybe someday she'll find me and we'll hook up again. Who Knows, Until then I'll keep chasing brunettes with big boobies."

   whenever you don't feel special or the world is draggin you down. just remember this.. there's always beer."

   whenever I see a guy that looks better then me, I immediately get intimadated that he's gonna take all the girls from me, but later I find out there not into girls. so, it all works out."

   remembering how when he was young and only kiss on the lips was a big deal, now a days it's like let's cut the bullsh*t let's have sexy time."

   can't wait to see who's all going to be single on my facebook after the 4th of July!"

   really getting sick of all these so-called "Twilight" Rip-off shows or shows that had the vampire idea but realised it after the series. How's come when "Avatar" came out. they didn't bring back the Smurfs?"

   Lady, there is a differnece between "Love Handles" and "Tail Lights"

   ‎is So,.. Just in case all Hell does freeze over, What's your Number?"

   I loved once.. She was my first kiss, it was on the swingset in the park. Maybe someday she'll find me and we'll hook up again. Who Knows, Until then I'll keep chasing brunettes with big boobies."

   it's happened: I have developed real emotions for my iPhone. Actually, it's no surprise, because I was raised by a TV and a microwave."

   I get really uncomfortable when people ask questions about sex. Like: "Is that it?"

   So many input boxes. Ever go to search for a girl on facebook and set her name as your status instead? Me either."

   Trust me.. You DO NOT want to see how a Sausage Fest is Made!"

   Google and Me, it's like we finish eachother's sentences."

   one of you people has stolen my brain, and I want it back raight naow bfoor tinghs dtt ny wurs

   the condoms I use are so sensitive, they stick around to talk to the chick for an hour after I leave."