BONNIE Funny Status Messages

   You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

   Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

   It is hard to understand how a cemetery can raise its burial costs and blame it on the higher cost of living.

   Really suffering from PMS today - Premature Monday Syndrome.

   ROMANTIC IDEA: Buy a packet of glow in the dark stars and stick the stars on the roof above your bed to spell out a message such as "I Love You" When the lights go down, your message will be revealed!

   S.H.I.T.: So Happy It's Thursday.

   I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday, 4% Friday.

   WHOOOAAA!!! I smell the strong stench of "MONDAY" brewing!!

   My liver is so cute when it's all like... "Oh God!!! someone please help me!"

   I won't get angry at you today... I just learned it's "Be kind to Animals Week"!

   I'm kinda like pizza - even when I'm bad I'm good!

   SHOW your true colors... and let people paint a picture of you.

   Best three Kings of all time!! Drin-king, smo-king, and fuc-king.

   Q. What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? A. We better get some support or people will think we're nuts.

   A bill collector came to my house the other day, so I gave him a huge stack of my old bills.

   OK, I'm going to admit it. Its been bugging me for about 10 years now and I need to get it off my chest. I let the dogs out.

   Royal Wedding+Media=Dead Horse