@seddy90 Funny Status Messages

   This girl rang me up one time, she says "come over, nobody is home", I went over, no one was home!

   A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car!

   Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.

   Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

   Anger is one letter short of danger.

   If you got a problem with your woman dont go out and get another woman cause now you got 2 problems

   A freak can easily spot a freak even when proffesional business white collar attire

   God's last name is not Dammit

   When Facebook Isnt Working, Twitter goes over capacity, (and MySpace remains unused,) some Americans will finally meet their neigbors

   One of our cats sits on the toilet lid and stares at the shower curtain while we take a shower. We're not sure if he's life-guarding or just amazed about how brave we are.

   Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, lady, well, shame on Lionel Richie.

   Why were the police ever issued with pepper sprays? Surely this will lead to the creation of more seasoned criminals.

   In a world without walls and fences - who needs Windows and Gates?

   What's the quickest way to lose 190 pound of ugly fat ? Divorce him

   What is it with black guys randomly rehearsing an R&B/ rap lyric when walking down the street?

   . Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men ... woman

   I've heard that the Eskimos have over 80 words to describe snow. Hell, they should get jobs in the Lipstick Color Naming Department at Revlon

   The only reason he had a child is so that he can meet babysitters

   Love: When you take a bubble bath together Lust: When you take a bath in Jell-o together Marriage: When you give the kids a bath

   Wonders if a cow from china would understand a cow from the US or do they moo different languages?