@gnarleycharley Funny Status Messages

   Santa must think my name is Cole.......

   running around the house with a wrapping paper tube saying “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”

   declaring 2012 is the year of the Honey Badger! Google  "Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger"

   Kids don't like meatloaf…but add some candles kids love meat cake….

   I just cooked vegetables on my Foreman Grill....is that even legal....I feel dirty..

   Captain Crunch of the Italian cruise liner just invited Billy Cundiff to his Super Bowl party!

   What do you think i'm some kind of Summoner?

   accidentally ordered the Chewbaco at Jack in the Box…it's terrible I found a huge hair in my wookie taco.

   What does Whitney Houston and Madonna and me have in common ... All of us didn't sing at the Super Bowl this year .

   Quote from the movie Project X..."That guys so old he probably graduated in 1986"..ouch .I'm frickin Dinosaur...  

   I'm so crazy I'm thinking about springing forward right now....see you in an hour!

   The legend goes that St. Danica Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland.....must be hard to put all the tiny seat belts on all the snakes.

   Apparently, the answer to WWJD is ……hire Peyton Manning.

   I'm sooo tired I spent all night reenacting scenes from Platoon with Charlie Sheen

   When I win the Mega Millions...The first order of business is buy the company I work for. Second, fire myself and collect unemployment...double dipping

   NEWS FLASH: Dodgers announce opening-day promotion: first 1000 fans get a set of "HIV & HER" bathroom towels

   ChrEasters people who only go to church on Christmas & Easter

   I think Mitt Romney should pick Hologram Tupac for his running mate..

    I might be  a 3XL at the mall, but I'm only a petite at "The Big and Tall Store"

   Hey bartender, that piña colada you just made taste like SPF 40!