@anikethmendonca Funny Status Messages

   My graduation speech will be, "I'd like to thank google, google & uh.. google..."

   [+[__] :] <- Like my Gameboy?

   Justin Beiber always sings about girls, she must be a lesbian

   In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?

   If you watch Titanic backwards, . It is a heart warming tale of a Ship Which jumps out of the water And Saves lots of drowning people . . .

   There are two things a HUMANS can never hide: The fact that he's drunk, and the fact he's in love.

   A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone.

   If you can't fix it with duct tape, WD-40 or a martini it aint worth fixing.

   Blackberry's r like girls, they only work when you touch d right button! iPhones are like men,...1 Touch anywhere & they respond...!! :) :D

   If there is a line of GAY people is it still a STRAIGHT line ?

   My mom says it's her house, but when it's time to clean, it magically becomes my house, too.

   Your secrets are safe with me, I wasn't even listening to you.

   *alarm*...*snooze*....*alarm*....*snooze*....*alarm*..*checks time*..."Oh sh*t!"

   WHen some one says "Hey, can I borrow a pen?", I think *Hmmm, which pen do I not need back?*

   Girl: I wasn't that drunk. Guy: You put your iPhone in the blender trying to make apple juice.

   I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes CLOSED !

   I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of Lays.