life Funny Status Messages

   Life is fork, I am soup

   The next person to walk out of my life I’m going with them. I’m sick of my crap too.

   If you watch my life backwards, I’m a weight watchers success story.

   Right or wrong, make a choice. Life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t decide.

   Transitions Adaptive Lenses: “Experience life well lit.” Me: Oh, I will.

   I will never drive a Jeep because you have to wave at other Jeep owners and I don't need that kind of pressure in my life.

   You learn nothing from life if you think that you’re right all the time.

   When we were young, we were given the impression that strangers would offer us drugs much more often than has happened in real life.

   Life is soup, I am fork.

   Current life status – By the time I figure out what nostril is plugged, it jumps to the other side.

   Now that the statues are down, tell us how your life has improved. Take your time, I’ll wait.

   Life Hack: If you can’t afford a psychologist, just get a haircut instead.

   Life is not a fairytale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

   Male bees die right after mating. So, their whole life is… Honey, Nut, Cheerio.

   Life is too short to die a coward.

   Being sarcastic on a regular basis can add up to three years to your life.

   If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

   In 2018, 33 researchers published their theory that octopuses didn’t originate on earth and are actually alien life forms.

   I need to get my life together but I’m kind of waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort into it.

   If you’re afraid to live your life, then you have already died.